I went to the Algarve, but I only swam in my own mind.

[Sorry for the long break, those of you who may or may not be checking in...I've had a big project for work and in between have been living life - but the project is done now (!!!), so I have quite a bit more time now.]

After one night in Aveiro recovering from the road trip, I caught a couple trains and a bus down to the Algarve, the southernmost region in Portugal known in particular for its beaches and its British tourists/retirees. But that's not what I was there for.

I'd been interested in trying out meditation for a while, since all the pros sounded really good, and there didn't really seem to be any cons - so might as well try! A friend in the US recommended a ten-day Vipassana course, so when I saw that there would be one in Portugal [courses are offered all over the world] at a time when I could take ten days off work, I decided to jump right in and go for it.

After registering, getting the low-down on the schedule and general rules, and separating into the men's and women's sections of the center, we gathered outside of the meditation hall that first evening for our first meditation session. As we walked in, everybody made sure to say goodbye to everyone else - starting with that first meditation, we were supposed to keep "noble silence" and do our best to work as though we were completely isolated. We weren't even supposed to really look each other in the eye [although, of course, we didn't slam doors shut right in front of someone trying to walk through behind us! - and we could talk to the organizers if there were any problems we needed to discuss and to the teachers about any meditation questions]. Kind of a strange situation, since I only had a chance to talk to a few people before I had to start pretending they didn't exist - I hadn't even met many of the girls I was sharing a large room with.

In a way, though, it was also kind of nice - ten days with one single group of people can be a lot, and it can create a lot of weird situations as far as who you like and who you don't, whose conversation can get a little annoying or boring after a while...when you get to pretend everyone else isn't even there, a lot of social awkwardness disappears, too!

And even though there was nothing "social" about it, it was still an interesting social experiment, seeing what kinds of preconceptions people came up with about people they had spent ten days with but knew nothing about. I certainly had some ideas about what some of the people would be like - some were confirmed, and some of course were not! One of the girls in my room told me she had thought I was probably Dutch.

The food was fairly simple and vegetarian, and I was surprised at how consistently delicious it was - everything tasted really good. And the best part - NO olives or mushrooms [at least cooked into the food...sometimes olives were offered as a side]! Those two tend to be mainstays of vegetarian cooking, and I despise both of them, so I was pretty thrilled.

Now, the meditation itself...was pretty tough for me. We meditated for a total of - are you ready for this? - TEN HOURS every day [starting at 4:30 a.m. and ending at 9 p.m.]. Holy cow [oh, wait, wrong religion - hyuk hyuk hyuk (but also, I should probably mention here that one of the main "selling" points of Vipassana is that it's supposed to be universal and for everyone of any religion or non-religion)]. That's tough on the body and the mind.

Ten hours a day of sitting on the floor, cross-legged or in whatever position is most comfortable, is not easy for us soft Westerners. But! I actually did feel that it got easier after a few days.

What did not get easier was the actual meditation. People often talk about "the monkey brain," and let me tell you, mine was swinging from branch to branch like crazy. I thought about everything, from meta thoughts about meditation and the course itself, to how I could possible cook a Thanksgiving dinner on my own from scratch in Portugal [never mind that Thanksgiving was a good nine months away at the time and I had no idea whether I would even still be in Portugal by then], to how I shouldn't have been allowed to dress myself in middle school [I made some really really terrible fashion choices]. And much much more... It's completely normal to get distracted when you're trying to meditate, but I think I had such a problem with it because at the beginning of each day, my brain was overwhelmed at the thought of ten whole hours, and by the end of the day, it was dealing with burnout.

So although I got a lot of practice in dealing with obstacles with equanimity, which is an important part of Vipassana, by the end of the course I didn't feel as though I had made much overall progress. I wasn't expecting a miracle, of course, but it seemed as though I should've gotten a little "further." When we could talk to each other again, everyone said, "Oh man, wasn't it great? Don't you feel great?!?" And I felt like I disappointed them a bit when I said, "Well...I think I still have to work on it a little more before I can be sure that it's for me." I'm trying not to judge my experience compared to other people's, but I really am not yet completely convinced. Unfortunately, I haven't made much time to keep working on it since I've gotten back to the outside world, but when I do, I think it might actually be better than during the course, because I won't have to deal with the burnout - instead of "Oh man, seriously, more meditation? Haven't I done enough of this already today?!?" I'm hoping my brain will go, "Oooh, a chance to rest and relax - thanks. Don't mind if I do!"

It's one of the things I want to focus on this month, so let's see how it goes!

If you're interested in trying out a ten-day Vipassana course, don't let this discourage you! It's really an individual experience for everyone, and most people who've done it certainly sing its praises. And even if you don't quiiiiite achieve nirvana after ten days, it's still nice to be able to completely step away from the outside world for that time and focus inwards and learn more about yourself. And you meet some really cool people [yes, despite not talking to them for most of the time!]. And hey, just having two meals a day of healthy vegetarian food actually helped me lose a lot of weight!

[But really, do not actually use a Vipassana course as a weight-loss camp! Only do it if you're serious about trying or continuing meditation - if you're not (in fact, even if you are), it can get tough around the middle, when you think about how much time you still have left. Ten days is a lot, guys! (Once they've been doing Vipassana for a while, some people do even longer courses, sometimes for 30 or even 45 days...yikes! I don't know if I could ever handle that...)]